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2012 Word of the Year Finale – RISK.

A little background on me.

For sake of context, it’s important for you to know a little more about me. Immediately out of college, I worked at a church helping reach children in their neighborhood in urban core of Kansas City, Missouri. During these two years, Kia and I lived and worked in this neighborhood, and we came into contact with hundreds of kids. However, it was about 25 or so regulars that I formed a really strong bond with.

Andy Bondurant circa 1997

Andy circa 1997

Over the years, I’ve continued to keep in contact with a handful of these kids (Facebook has really helped). However, most of the children from 15+ years ago, I have no idea where they are, what they are up to or if they are even still alive.

Introducing Trey.

The Friday before Christmas, I was back in the neighborhood. I was there to work to distribute food to the needy. This church connects with various organizations helping hundreds of people in the Kansas City, Missouri area. I led a group of people helping put together these Baskets of Love.

While unloading a truck of food, I was shocked to see one of my regulars – Trey.

Amazingly, Trey, other than a foot or two of growth and tattoos up and down his arms & neck, looked like the same person he was at 9 years old. Looks can be deceiving though. Trey was no longer a child (of course at 24, I didn’t expect it), but Trey had stopped being a child years before.

Trey and I spent the next hour or so reconnecting. He told me his story.

Trey - friend of Andy Bondurant

Trey and his brother in silly hats (Trey is on the right).

For the past several months, Trey has lived a clean life, but the years before it was shootings, drugs, robberies, jail and prison. Trey has already spent a fourth of his life in jail. It’s not what he, his family or I envisioned for his life.

A sobering encounter.

Walking away from the conversation, I was struck by a two thoughts.

1. I reap what I sow.

It’s a law of life which seems so simple. It’s so simple we lose how profound it really is.

You reap what you sow.

Trey has been living a clean life for almost a year, but his past sticks with him. He can’t find a good job. He wants to marry his girlfriend who is pregnant with his child, but he doesn’t have the money. He doesn’t have a complete education. His friends dropped him when he went to prison. The list goes on and on.

With someone like Trey, the law of sowing and reaping seems obvious. In our lives, we miss it if we don’t look carefully.

In 2011, I learned to live intentionally (in order have FREEDOM). The law of sowing and reaping is all about living intentionally. What I do today effects my life tomorrow. There is no way around this.

2. RISK is not glamorous.

My 2012 Word of the Year was RISK. Last year, Kia and I made a lot of decisions that are scary. I learned there isn’t much glamour in these scary, risky, but right decisions.

Trey made decisions that were stupid (he admits this plainly). In one instance, he got mad at someone, and fired a gun into a house. Thankfully, no one was hurt. It was RISK, and it was exciting. It was something you expect to see in a movie, but it wasn’t the kind of RISK that changes a life for the better.

A RISK that improves your life doesn’t get books written or movies made. In fact, people around you – the ones closest to you – may question your integrity or sanity or character. There is no glamour in that.

In the end, you and you alone must decide if a decision is right. Again…no glamour in that.

2013. A new year. A new word.

2012, and my Word of the Year in 2012 – RISK – is done. But if I’ve learned anything about my experience with FREEDOM in 2011, I’m hardly done taking RISKs.

Now that it’s 2013, I’ve chosen a new Word of the Year – TRANSFORM. I hope you’ll choose a word for 2013 too. I promise, it will change your life.

Have you been assimilated? Star Trek, photography and YOU.

Image of Josh Hanna from West VirginiaThis is a guest post by Josh Hanna. After ten years as an avid hobbyist of landscape and still photography, Josh has found a new creative love in portrait photography …which has served as his primary subject of choice for the past five years.  Josh is the owner of Joshua Hanna Photography & Design, an on-location portrait photography business serving the Charleston, WV and surrounding area and specializing in High School Senior photography.

You will all be assimilated…

Ok…so, I am a bit of a Star Trek geek. I am a bigger photography geek, however.

As such, I find myself constantly looking at other photographer’s work and trying to determine what it is that makes their images so great. While I have learned so many wonderful tricks and techniques from my over analyzing, I have also managed to force myself into a pitfall that I see way too often.

high school senior picture by Josh Hanna

Image by Josh Hanna

I found myself trying to copy the style and techniques of other photographers whose work I admire, and in the process losing all sense of my own style and creativity. In essence, I’ve placed restrictions on how I could create and put myself into a box that defined how I approached a session, and what my expected outcome should be.

My creative process has always been more fluid than this, more “on-the-fly” and organic. How did I get to this point? I was being assimilated and felt powerless to control it.

I lacked self-confidence.

It was simple – tunnel vision and lack of self-confidence. I was trying to make my work look just like the other guys because their work is so phenomenal.

As a result, I was unhappy with the quality of my work, I wasn’t having fun doing it, and my work still didn’t compare to that of my mentors! Why was their work so much better than mine? I mean, c’mon…I’m doing everything that they are doing!

high school senior picture by Josh Hanna

Image by Josh Hanna

Wrong! They were simply being true to themselves, being original, and allowing their creativity to dictate how they operate. I was trying to be them…an unoriginal, poor imitation.

I had finally started asking myself the right question…

“What makes their work so great…not the technicality of their work, but what is the driving force behind it?”

The answer? They were being themselves and taking a natural approach to their own creative process.

…and there it was “Click!” The light bulb had just come on. All of the right questions were starting to be asked, and I was answering them for myself.

  • How can I impart myself into my photos?
  • What do I enjoy about photography?
  • How do I see these shots in my head?

I started telling myself it’s okay to not be just like the other guy. I was okay with knowing that my work is what it is.

senior photography by Josh Hanna in Charleston West Virginia

Image by Josh Hanna

Most importantly, I started to enjoy creating an image again and my confidence began to be restored. It was liberating and freeing to know that who I am as an artist is good enough and that I don’t have to operate based on someone else’s parameters.

4 steps to not be assimilated!

So how do we keep from being assimilated into parameter-based beings that must follow a set of predefined rules which determine how we operate?

My best advice…

  1. Be who God made you to be! Rely on your own intuition, and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
  2. Stop feeling inferior to those who are vastly more experienced and have been at this a lot longer.
  3. Make it a point to ask yourself how YOU would create your next image…and then shoot it again and again until your vision is reality.
  4. Gain knowledge and experience through persistence.

Be who YOU are and you will always be original! Original will always be good!

Apparently, resistance is not futile after all!

How do you keep from becoming assimilated?

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Have you targeted your competition?

Who is your competition?

In mid-July Seth Godin wrote a blog post entitled “Competition as a crutch.” In part, he said this:

The problem with competition is that it takes away the requirement to set your own path, to invent your own method, to find a new way. When you have competition, it’s the pack that decides what’s going to happen next, you’re merely trying to get (or stay) in front.

Competing with yourself is more difficult, requires more bravery and leads to more insight.

Are you too focused on your competition?

Image courtesy of Flickr user Eric.Parker

Last week, I wrote an article featuring a new YouTube video by Goyte, and I asked the question, “Are you comfortable with your art?” The question maybe should have been, “Are you too focused on your competition?”

However, I like best, “Who is your competition?” Why? Because too often, we are focused on the wrong target.

You are your best competition.

Here are 3 reasons why you are your best competition:

1. You know you best.

Only you know what you lack in your business. You know best what needs improved on in your art. You know best what your family needs from you. This should be what drives you to improve. It needs to be what drives me to improve.

2. You don’t know where other competition is headed.

You don’t know why a competitor is doing what he is doing. You don’t know if he is in the midst of a cash crunch. You don’t know if he is expanding or pulling back. You don’t know if he moving in the right direction.

3. Focusing on other competition steals your freedom.

When you look around at others in your market (or even out of your market) you allow YOUR passion to be stolen. It holds you back from dreaming your own dreams. It ties you up.

Apple, the great example.

I love Apple computers, phones, tablets, and most other products. I am a fanboy.

That said, I worry about the energy Apple is exerting pressing various lawsuits against its competition, namely Samsung. Will Apple continue to create innovative, ground breaking products? Can Apple continue to improve their already wonderful technology?

Time will tell for Apple. Time will tell for you.


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17 years ago.

Highlights from 1995

If you were alive 17 years ago, yesterday, here are a few things you might have been talking about.

The top songs from that year:

Cover for Notorious BIG album

Top album of the year, History Past, Present and Future Book I by Michael Jackson.

You might have been talking about one of the summer’s blockbuster hits:

  1. Batman Forever
  2. Apollo 13
  3. TToy Story (the original)
  4. Pocahontas
  5. Ace Ventura

Or you might have just seen my favorite movie from 1995 – Braveheart.

You could have been following one of these top news stories:

  • The Oklahoma City bombing by Timothy McVeigh
  • The OJ Simpson murder trial
  • The Kobe, Japan earthquake (killing over 5,000 people)
  • The 49ers winning the previous Superbowl.
  • The record setting pace on the Dow Jones – up to 4400 in August!

August 12, 1995

My highlight from 1995 happened on August 12, 1995. That Saturday, Kia and I were married. It remains one of the best days of my life.

Over the past 17 years, Kia and I together have watched major news stories come and go. We’ve attended and graduated from college. We started and quit jobs. We opened and closed businesses. We’ve brought 4 children into the world. We’ve bought and sold homes. We’ve dreamed and cried.

We have done it all together.

Kia Bondurant of Louisburg, Kansas in the Kansas City areaIt’s not easy.

Let me be quick to distill any brewing myth…it’s not been easy. We’ve had to fight for our marriage. We’ve had to learn to cling to one another.

This past year has been one of us drawing closer together than we’ve ever been before. In this year, I’ve seen Kia’s strength, creativity, vision, passion, fear, intensity, anger, and love more than ever before.

I’m proud to say Kia’s my wife.

Happy Anniversary, Kia Antisdel Bondurant. I love you.

 

4 steps to escape the Trough of Sorrow

The Trough of Sorrrow

While on vacation in June, I ran across this post on the 8Bit blog (8Bit is the creator of The Collective’s WordPress template – Standard Theme). John Saddington shared the below graphic/timeline of a start-up business. It specifically refers to a tech start-up (which will be sold or go public). The graphic doesn’t directly relate to us small and micro business owners, but it still rings true.

Start-up curve graphic from 8Bit site

Notice the long “trough of sorrow” period. This is when most businesses quit or fail. The honeymoon has ended, the hype has worn off, and the reality of the job ahead has firmly set in with everyone on board.

This is when long-lasting businesses are created. The trough of sorrow is when great leaders are born and shine. These leaders aren’t great because they make flashy decisions. They shine because they come back to the table day after day after day. They slog through the intense, tough times.

How to make it through the “Trough of Sorrow”

I’m in the middle of my 3rd business start-up, and I’m actively working on another couple. Here are a few things I’ve learned about making it through the Trough of Sorrow.

1. Don’t give up.

Michael Hyatt shared in his book Platform that it was when he had come to the end of his rope that things began to turn around for his blog. Had he quit when he felt like it, he would have missed a massive turn around just a month or so away.

Steven Pressfield in his book Do the Work explains that breakthrough comes when we push through the hard and difficult things we don’t want to do.

2. Stop changing your mind.

Pat Flynn author of the blog Smart Passive Income shares that success starts with choosing a path and sticking with it. He says:

Stop changing your mind. Stop doubting yourself and your decisions, pick something, believe in it, and go for it. This rule alone will get you where you need to go and stop you from falling short of success.

Notice in the graphic above that there will be “wiggles of hope” and a “crash of ineptitude” causing you to question everything about what you are doing. Remember to stay the course.

3. What is the next RIGHT step?

Kia and I continually ask each other this question when walking through a new project. We ask the question when we start to get lost in our own frustrations, sorrow, or anger. The way out that pit is refocusing on what needs done now.

Make a list. Prioritize the list. Do the list.

Just do the next RIGHT thing.

4. Be intentional.

99% of us won’t get to “the promised land” on accident. It takes intentional attention and action.

In my 2011 Word of the Year project I chose Freedom. The biggest lesson I learned is I won’t be free if I don’t act intentionally. The bigger lesson I learned is acting intentionally applies to much more than freedom. It applies to any area of improvement I seek in my life or business.

Think bigger.

If you are in the midst of a trough of sorrow, lift your head. It is so easy to get lost in this wilderness.

Think beyond today. Think beyond your business.

Your promise land is coming.


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